feel

i am learning so much right now. i am so thankful to Jesus for it.

irresolution and certainty are a strange and beautiful juxtaposition.

periphery is dangerous.

everything is meaningless and empty if Christ is not at its center.
everything but Jesus Christ is peripheral and secondary.

this means
every single one of your relationships,
how well you can duke it out in an argument for or against calvinism,
all the theological books on your shelf,
the ministry you invest in,
how you spend your summers,
your church,
how well known your pastor is,
missions,
your stance on abortion,
how many days it really took God to create the world,
every hymn you sing,
all the blogs you read,
every podcast on your ipod,
gender roles,
your method of studying the Bible,
your plans to go to seminary,
how modest your outfit is,
how long you wait to date a guy or a girl,
your convictions on drinking alcohol,
what version of the Bible you read


are second things. and to make them first things is to make them gods.


Christ is first, Christ is last, Christ is all.
don't let the peripheral sit on the throne where He belongs.

and then

what if streams of consciousness were actual streams?

what if we were all characters in someone else's short story?

i sort of miss literary analyses

rainy days and mondays always get me down. today is both.

i've been having good, insightful, raw conversations with unexpected (and some expected) people.

sometimes when i write things down i imagine dipping my brain in ink and pressing it against the page of my notebook.

my paradigms are shifting.

i guess i just don't care about things i don't care about.

i kind of wish i were more into NPR.

i'm surprised how much i like watching other people's romances develop.

why are there spots on all my clothes?

would you rather skim the surface of the entire ocean or go deeply beneath just one part? i'm missing out.

the other day i sent a package overseas and had to declare what was inside it on the outside of the box. it ruined the surprise, but i realized i want to declare everything on the outside of my box.


i need to stop compartmentalizing.

i don't have any overlap.

irresolute and resolved

today i'll let these linebreaks and stanzas be my mouth.


that july was seamless--

the moon
a metronome
deadening us
to everything
but what existed
on the plot
of alley
we stood upon
hoarding charms
in eachother's
mouths.

the wind's alphabet
of smoke embossed
everyone's faces.
i read
no outlet
go back.

everything about you was
an instruction manual for
disassembly. i was the boy
spending dark hours
in the cellar taking apart
alaram clocks and radios
just to put them back
together again.

even the constellations
mourned us, tarnished
chandeliers hanging
limp against the sky.